


Desolate

by lusterrdust



Category: The Walking Dead (TV), The Walking Dead (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Death, Dysfunctional Family, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Mentions of Lee Everette, Multi, Teen Romance, Walkers (Walking Dead), mentions of Luke - Freeform, slight AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-08 21:53:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7775086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lusterrdust/pseuds/lusterrdust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>ALONE: adjective, (used predicatively)<br/>1.separate, apart, or isolated from others</p><p>This new world was terrifying. The death, the loss, the hate. But Clementine pushes through.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. .1.

**<https://youtu.be/Ifj8LUs_Je8> **

**Note: BEFORE YOU READ, BE ADVISED THIS IS A AMC'S TWD SHOW S4+ AU STORY WITH TELLTALE GAMES' TWD Game, SEASON 1 AND 2 _SPOILERS_. ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO THEIR RESPECTIVE OWNERS AND ROBERT KIRKMAN.**

**III**

Alone.

It's what she'd been when this all started. When her parents had left her with the babysitter while they vacationed in Savannah…

It's what she'd been when Lee saved her, but ended up losing his own life by the pull of her finger on a trigger…

When Christa had been ambushed by those men in the forest…

When she'd shot Kenny and distanced herself and AJ from Jane and her twisted way of trying to prove a point…

And now, as her fingers patted the loose soil into place over the small grave, she was alone once more. She didn't believe her heart could shatter any further, considering the amount of losses she'd suffered in the past four years, but she was proven wrong in the worst possible way.

 _AJ_. Innocent, pure and good. Only four years old… He'd been taken from her— the _one_ good thing in this shit world—ripped from her arms without mercy.

The only ray of light in a dark room – snuffed out in a fraction of a second.

And all because of her. All because she had accidentally dozed off without securing him in a safe place. The soil beneath her fingers stained her palms brown, but all she saw was red. His blood covered her hands. Luke's blood… Lee's…

Red, red, red.

"Everything I touch turns to shit." Her head bowed and her lip wobbled as she tried to restrain the angry sobs that were currently caught in her throat. It was a horrible way for a young girl to think, but that was life now. Age didn't matter anymore. You weren't young or old, boy or girl – no, this world had a different way of seeing things. You were either dead or alive. Strong or weak. Nothing else mattered.

The snarls and moans of the lurkers were getting closer, reminding her that her mourning had a time limit. Her jaw clenched almost painfully as she secured her backpack over her shoulders and her gun to her waistband. "Goodbye, AJ." She whispered lowly, sparing one more glance to the small makeshift cross she'd made before setting off into the distance.

III

" _I'm scared, Lee."_

" _What can I tell you to make it better?"_

" _That you won't leave me…"_

" _Oh, I wouldn't do that. I promise."_

A gasp escaped her lips as she jerked awake. The top of her head collided with the cold metal above her and she felt herself stiffen in panic before she realized that she had crawled into the trunk of a car just the day prior to escape a small herd of lurkers.

As quietly as she could, her hand pushed the hood of the trunk up just a sliver in order to observe her surroundings. It wasn't until she knew it was clear a short while later that she climbed out, slowly and cautiously.

Something caught her eye, however, and her gaze narrowed as her hand instantly reached for the gun at her belt. Finger on the trigger, she moved toward the object just a few feet away from her, sitting in the middle of the street.

A water bottle.

Full, and clean and consciously placed near her for her to find.

Someone was nearby. Suddenly, her senses were on high alert and she raised her gun up, circling slowly to view her surroundings. The hair on the back of her neck raised as she realized she was being watched.

"Come out!" Her voice was firm and unwavering, hiding the fear she felt. "I know you're there!"

Her breathing was erratic, overwhelming her senses. In the distance, two men walked out from behind their hiding places among the trees and she zeroed in on their appearances. Cataloging every detail into her brain, every move.

Both pairs of hands were up, and she inspected the tallest man first. He was scruffy looking— shaggy hair, leather vest, with piercing blue eyes that locked onto her amber colored ones, staring her down without really coming off threatening. How on earth did he manage such a feat? A crossbow was strapped to his back, but she could tell he could have it unsheathed and pointed at her in seconds if he wished.

Evening out her breathing and squaring her shoulders, she looked to the other man. Covered in a long sleeved green flannel and jeans that seemed too clean for a world like this—An unsure smile stretched across his face as he watched her. But it was his eyes that kept her from running. There was something in them she hadn't seen for some time now… kindness.

She didn't know if it had been the fact that she'd made sure to stay away from groups after losing Luke and Kenny that made her question if it was genuine or not, but she didn't care. All that mattered was that she wanted answers.

"Who are you?"

The flannel man smiled a bit wider and took a step toward her, causing her to click the safety off. "That's close enough." She grit out before jutting her chin out. "Answer the question."

"Of course." He apologized, sharing a quick glance with the taller man. His hand came up to touch his chest as he spoke. "My name is Aaron. And this here is my friend Daryl. We've been trailing you for a couple days now—,"

"Why?" She took another step back and narrowed her eyes. His words sent a shiver down her spine. So far, the many men she'd stumbled across on or vice versa while on the road hadn't been the 'friendly' type. She'd always managed to get away, but she knew her luck would soon run out. Maybe it was now.

"Not—not in a bad way, we just—,"

"Aaron."

'Aaron' looked to the tall man, Daryl, and he held his hands up a bit higher before turning back to her. "We have a community not far from here—,"

"Not interested." She quipped evenly.

He gave a short laugh that sounded more like a sharp exhale, and nodded his head. "Of course. It's just… you look like you could stock up on your supplies. How old are you?"

Her brows furrowed at his incessant questioning. "Old enough to take care of myself, if that's what you're asking."

"You've been on your own?" Daryl asked with a frown.

Her only response was a tight grimace.

Aaron stared at her with an annoying look of pity before he spoke again. "Look, I know it's hard to trust these days... But our community has food, running water, electricity—,"

"Food?" The words escaped her before she could stop them and it only brought a hopeful look to Aaron's face.

He nodded, "Yes! And… there are more children there. Around your age, too. And women—,"

"What're they used for?" She questioned suspiciously, interrupting his little spiel.

"What the hell you mean ' _for'_ , girl?" Daryl glared, shifting his stance.

"You know exactly what I mean." She retorted back, "The women and children—what do you have them there for?"

Aaron gaped at her, a thousand questions racing through his mind at what she might've endured out here to ask something like that. "Th-they're not used at all. I mean, _yes_ , everyone has their own jobs—gardening, maintenance, patrol – Daryl and I are scouters. We search nearby areas for people who might want or need the chance to start new,"

"Tell me," She started, feeling just an inkling of hope at his words. "This ' _community'_ of yours, is there a leader? Or a dictator? Can members come and go as they please?"

She didn't have to clarify what she meant. By the looks on their faces, they knew exactly what she was asking. "We have leaders. But it's a democracy of sorts. Our people come together to make the big decisions. We won't force you, but just know if you choose to come with us, even for just a day, you'll be able to stock up on supplies – food, ammo, medicine."

A snarl from behind her caused her to lose her composure for a moment and she took her eyes off the men to spot five walkers coming out of the woods toward them.

"You gonna make a decision, do it quick." Daryl told her, pulling his crossbow out from behind his back before aiming over her shoulder. "We ain't got time to waste."

"Okay." She nodded, lowering her gun. "I'll stay one day. If you guys try anything funny, I won't hesitate to shoot."

Aaron grinned at her before gesturing she follow. "One day. You've got it."

III

The car ride was silent, and she preferred it that way. It gave her a chance to observe the route they were taking – the trees, the foliage and whatever signs that had been broke down on the side of the road.

"Y' gotta name?"

She looked up from her seat in the back toward Daryl. Again, his eyes stared at her with what felt was more than just a mere look. He was reading her. Not trying to, but was. A skill he must've had, she reckoned. However, his gaze didn't cause her to look away. He might've been intimidating, but she wasn't one to shy away. "Yes." She answered, looking back out the window.

Realizing she wasn't going to say anything after that, Daryl scoffed and shook his head, mumbling something that sounded like 'teenagers' under his breath.

"Here." Aaron said from the driver's seat as he handed her a granola bar and water bottle.

Her throat and stomach cried out for the nourishment, but her hands were slow to grasp. A defiant part of her screamed at her to refuse it, but the other part, the vulnerable, childish part – well, that part overruled.

She didn't chew slow like she knew she was supposed to. She didn't take small sips. The granola bar was scarfed down in two bites, and the water was drained quicker than she'd thought they'd ever seen, judging by their stares. It dribbled down her chin and she used her sleeve to wipe the moisture away.

"Jesus," Daryl shook his head again before turning toward the front.

"Here we are." Aaron spoke up with a smile. Looking over his shoulder, she felt her jaw drop at the tall walls and metal bars. It looked so much more secure than Carver's place ever did, and she pushed down the hope the bubbled beneath her breast.

"Whoa." She whispered, sitting up as they slowed down to a stop.

"Just wait until you see the inside." Aaron chuckled, encouraged by her reaction.

It was strange, she thought to herself as she walked into the gate. How _off_ it felt to feel _off_ at seeing something so completely _normal_. Mown lawns, tall mansion-like houses, lemon trees – they were screaming at her for her full attention, and it unsettled her.

"We'll need your weapons." The man who stood at the gate told her, looking at her expectantly.

It wasn't lost on the group of men on how rigid and defensive her stance became. Her hand rested on her gun and she glared at the gate guy. "No."

Aaron lifted his hand up and shared a look she didn't quite understand with him. "Hector, it's fine. She's good."

"What's going on over here?" This voice was different from the others. It was huskier, and there was a heavy twang to it. A man in a white tee and jeans came walking her way, with a few people trailing after him. He gave her a once over and turned to Daryl. "This her?"

"Hm." She assumes that was his way of saying yes.

"I'm Rick." The man introduced with an easy smile and a calculative eye. When she looks over his shoulder it takes a few moments for Clementine to put a name to the Asian man that's staring at her like she's a ghost, but when she does, a smile lights her face and she inches toward him. "Glenn?"

"Oh, my god…" He breathes out, " _Clementine_?"

**III**

**THIS WILL BE A SHORT FIC, SO UPDATES WILL BE POSTED REGULARLY. THANKS FOR READING XOXO**


	2. .2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unbeta'd

_“Oh, my god…” He breathes out, “Clementine?”_

Glenn laughs and they embrace as if they're old friends— in a sense they could be. He'd been there in Macon when it all started six years ago, when she was just a nine-year-old clinging onto a stranger in search for her parents.

Glenn’s different now, she notices. She supposes they both are. He’s rugged, more built, more confident. But he also has that look in his eye – the one everyone now has, the one where you’re haunted by the ghosts of your past. Whether it be people you’ve lost, or things you did or didn’t do—he has that look, and it makes her sad.

   
"How-? Where-?"  
  
Glenn can't seem to find words, and she can't blame him. Clementine pulls away and looks over his side to see a small gathering has formed around them to witness their sort-of reunion.  
  
"Carley? Lee?" Glenn finally asks, already looking as if he knows the answer. Her smile slips away and she shakes her head while his face falls in sympathy. "I'm sorry."  
  
Clementine shrugs to mask the way Lee's name still manages to pull at the deep corners of her heart, and looks back to the group of people warily.

The hushed words and flickering eyes are enough to make her take a step back from them.  
  
"How about we take this inside?" Rick speaks up, sensing her discomfort. He motions to a few people before she follows in line behind him. The house they arrive to is large and beautiful. She vaguely remembers her mother watching shows about houses like this getting renovated and the fleeting idea is enough to slow her steps.  
  
Once they’re inside, Clementine refrains from gaping. The inside is even _more_ lavish than the outside. Everything is clean and tucked away neatly. There are no decaying walkers on the ground, no broken furniture or moldy walls— just a home that looks like it could be in a television show.  
  
A blonde woman walks downstairs with a small white kit in her hands and she’s beautiful; but that's not the first thing Clementine notices. The first thing she notices are the multiple scars on the woman’s face; the two long gashes on her cheek and brow, and then more noticeably the hole just near her temple. It's a bullet hole, Clementine realizes with a jolt, and she wonders how she managed to survive a wound to the head like that.  
  
"Hi." The woman smiles pleasantly as she approaches her. "I'm Beth."  
  
"Clementine." She responds, easing up to the woman's air of kindness. At this moment, Daryl walks forward and places a dirty hand on the woman's arm before he leans in close to whisper something she can't quite hear.  
  
After that, Beth asks her if it's okay for her to check her over for any injuries that might need tending to, and Clementine doesn't miss the glance she makes toward the bandages wrapped around her left pinky and ring finger.  
  
It was a lurker bite she explains as Beth takes a look at the stubs of where half her ring finger and tip of her pinky should've been. "I cut them off right after." She explains further, gaining an array of impressed and unsettled looks around the room.  
  
Glenn is nearby her and Rick, Daryl and a short woman named Deanna are observing her from separate corners of the room. Glenn fills the silence as he explains a little bit of what happened when he left their group in Macon to head to Atlanta. He hadn't found his friends like he planned-- at least, not in the way he'd hoped. But that was where he met Rick and Daryl, and Clementine is impressed they've been able to stick together this whole time. He tells her that she doesn't have to worry— that this community, _Alexandria_ , is safe. Beth is his sister-in-law, and he has a son with his wife Maggie, named Hershel.  
  
This information instantly causes Clementine to think of AJ and she turns her head to compose herself as the image of his bloodied blanket brands itself behind her retinas over and over again.  
  
Turning away doesn't help though, because now all she sees is the playpen in the corner of the room. It’s blue with a blanket covered in small elephants. Her finger along the edge of the pen and feels a screw deep inside her come loose. AJ could’ve had this. He could’ve made it here. Her knees buckle before she can stop herself and it's the first time she's allowed to grieve without fear of attracting lurkers. Now the only thing she's attracted is unwanted attention, but in the moment she can't find it in herself to care.  
  
AJ's death was still too fresh for her and she doesn't know how she's managed to stay alive all this time while everyone she's ever cared about have been eaten or killed.

It wasn't fair.  
  
_"I can't imagine, sweet pea_. _"_  
  
Arms wrap around her and she knows she'll regret having this weak moment later, but for now, she accepts Beth's embrace and let's herself _feel_.  
  
Contrary to what she believes, the group doesn't see her as weak in that moment. They only see another child whose innocence was ripped away from them far too soon.

The tears stop after a while, and she won’t admit it, but Beth’s hand rubbing her arm and shoulders make her feel the safest she’s been in months. It’s been so long since she’s had the touch of comfort, and she tucks the memory of it away for safe keeping.

  
When she’s ready, Clementine follows the group into a different house and Rick explains to her that this is his home, and they just want to ask her some questions before they allow her to do anything else.  
  
There are more people this time, and Clementine tries to remember their names as they go around the table and introduce themselves. There's Michonne, Maggie, Tara, Carol, and a boy that looks around her age named Carl -- the eyepatch he sports is what causes her to see him first. They explain there are more members of their immediate 'family', but they're out doing their jobs.  
  
When Maggie sets a plate full of eggs, beans, and oatmeal in front of her, she’s not embarrassed in the slightest at the loud growl her stomach makes.  
  
"Here ya are, sweetheart." Maggie smiles at her, and Clementine can instantly see the relation between her and Beth.  
  
She doesn't wait to dig in. Her fork is piled with food as she takes in large, greedy mouthfuls as if it’ll disappear at any given moment.  
  
"Whoa, slow down." Glenn chuckles with a raised hand, "There's plenty more, and you don't want to throw it all up, right?"  
  
She doesn't. Her movements slow down after that and amber eyes look up from her plate as she stares at everyone before speaking with a full mouth. "Go ahead, then."  
  
“We’ll jump straight to it, then.” Rick nods, glad she's being straightforward. "How many walkers have you killed?"  
  
A snort escapes her before she can stop herself and she raises a brow at him as if to say, _'really_?'.  
  
"Just answer the question." He continues with a serious expression.  
  
"Hard to say by this point." She shrugs, noncommittally. "A lot."  
  
Rick nods, expecting as much. "How many people have you killed?"  
  
Lee flashes into her mind and she looks down at her food, now feeling her stomach turn at the sight of it. Her appetite is gone.  
  
_"You have to shoot me, honey."_  
  
"Intentional or not intentional?" She murmurs, catching him off guard slightly. But she continues anyway, "First there was Lee... He got bit trying to save me when all this started. He was a good man – the best, actually. He saved me so many times... I… I had to shoot him before he turned.”

The room is silent, so she keeps going, “And then there was Kenny. He… well, he kind of lost it after his family died. We were with different people then, and things went bad. He was too far gone at that point... Then there were a couple others, but I didn’t know them. They were bad men who wanted to do bad things…"  
  
"And those were intentional?" Michonne asked from the seat next to her. Clementine can't read her as she sits there with crossed arms, so she just nods in affirmative. "And the unintentional?"  
  
Luke and AJ cross her mind and she frowns deeply, pushing the small bits of egg around in her plate. _Sandra, Omid , Christa, Nick, Sarah_... “A few. There were a few… good people who saved me. Good people who should be sitting here in my place.”  
  
It's silent in the room as they mull her words over.  
  
Michonne shares a look with Rick after they realize that's all she'll say and he presses forward again. "And how old are you, Clementine?"  
  
"Fifteen, I think." She responds, looking back up at him as she taps the fork against the plate. "It's been six winters since this all started."  
  
"And you're not part of a group?"  
  
Her arms fold over her chest then and she sees Carl stare at her missing fingers. Clementine grimaces at him. "I’m better on my own."  
  
For some reason, this causes everyone to look at Daryl and the man snorts from his spot against the doorframe.  
  
Rick clasps his hands together and stares intensely at her. "And what makes you say that?"  
  
"Experience." Is her only reply.  
  
He nods thoughtfully and she wonders if they’ll toss her out on her ass before he speaks again. "So how long have you been alone, then?"  
  
Her heartbeat quickens and she can see the tiny grave in her mind's eye. She blinks and takes a deep inhale to shake the image away. "It was just me and AJ. We were together the last four years. But he... he…"  
  
"AJ was your guardian?" Glenn prods her gently, giving her a sad look as she stumbles over her words.  
  
“No.” Clementine shakes her head somberly. "I was his."  
  
"What?" Maggie gasps, horrified as the rest of the group share meaningful looks with one another. She can tell they’ve mastered the art of communication without words with one another and she’s impressed.  
  
"His mom died after she had him” Clementine explains, hollowly. “And our group... Like I said, things went bad. He was only a week old, but I couldn’t just leave him."  
  
"A newborn?" Rick's lips part in astonishment as he blinks at her. "An eleven-year-old survivin’ four years with a baby?"  
  
Clementine feels uncomfortable over the various expressions peering at her and she shifts in her seat. "Anyone would've done the same thing."  
  
"No." Deanna finally speaks up with a small curve of her lips. "Not anyone, Clementine. Not anyone, and you know that."  
  
"Well, it doesn't matter now, does it?" She snapped, feeling angry at how easily these strangers could talk about it. As if they _knew_ her situation, as if they knew AJ—they _didn't_ know! They didn't know a _damn thing_ about her! "It doesn’t matter, because he’s d-dead! He won’t ever come back."  
  
"It _does_ matter." She hears Daryl from behind. He says it quietly, yet so assuredly that she almost believes it.  
  
Clementine quickly regains her composure, not wanting to make yet another scene and pushes her plate away. "Do you have more questions or may I take a shower like I was promised?"  
  
Rick's gaze is just as, if not more, intimidating as Daryl's; but again, Clementine doesn't break eye contact as he mulls over her question.

"That'll be all." He finally gives a nod after a few longsuffering moments. "For now."

He then turns to his son and gestures to the staircase. "Carl, go ahead and show Clementine where the bathroom is, and help her find the supplies. The group and I will discuss a few things 'fore we make a decision."  
  
"I'll go find you some fresh clothes." Beth smiles, standing up along with her. She points up to her hat, "I can wash that for you too, if you'd like?"  
  
Clementine's fingers immediately fall over her hat as her eyes widen. " _No_!" She blurts out a little too loudly. Her cheeks begin to burn as she feels the weight of everyone's eyes on her and she shakes her head. "N-no thank you. I-I'll clean it myself."  
  
Beth blinks before that same kindhearted smile is back in place. "No worries. Go on up, I'll have some things for you when you're done."  
  
Clementine follows Carl up the stairs quietly. It's been a while since she's been around anyone her own age. Most of the hunters she came across on the road didn't keep kids around. Kids were weak in their eyes.  
  
"You're safe now, you know." His voice snaps her out of her deep thinking.  
  
Her eyes narrow slightly at him as she remains quiet, realizing her hand has been hovering over her gun during their short trek to the bathroom.  
  
"This is a good place." He continues, staring at her with his one bright blue eye.  
  
"There's no such thing anymore." She retorts lowly, taking the towel he's holding out with a low thanks. "Sooner or later the walls will come down and nobody will have anything to hide behind."  
  
He raises a brow at her response and crosses his arms. "Look, I get it. You don't have to be afraid, though."  
  
"I'm _not_." She bites back in annoyance. "Don't act like you know me."  
  
"I don't have to know you." He shrugs noncommittally, only irritating her further. "I've _been_ you. Killed people I loved. Been responsible for good people dying. Been on my own... Being alone may seem like the best way to survive,” He continues seriously, “But it's no way to live."  
  
She doesn’t have anything to say to that and frowns at the way his words have stirred something inside her. His lips curve up just a fraction as he witnesses the wheels turning in her head before he walks away.  
  
Standing in the threshold of the bathroom, Clementine scoffs quietly to herself and shuts the door. There wasn’t time to live in this world anymore, only time to survive. These people have it twisted, she thinks with only a small measure of doubt.  
  
Her shower must've been long, because there had been two knocks on the door since she'd been in and by the third one, she forces herself to step out and dry off.  
  
With a fresh face and fresh clothing, Clementine walks downstairs to see the group, with a few new faces, gathered in different spots around the living room.  
  
At her appearance, both Rick and Deanna stand up.  
  
"Feeling better?" The woman asks with a knowing grin, “You certainly _look_ better.”  
  
Clementine nods and wraps her arms around herself protectively. The water from her shower is trailing down in slow trails on her neck, disrupting her thoughts only slightly. "Yes, thank you."  
  
"How do you feel about staying here, Clementine?" Glenn asked from his position on the couch next to his wife. "In this community?"  
  
"You're strong." Deanna added with a curve of her lips, "You've been through some tough shit and _survived_. You and Carl are two of the only kids here who would be able to take care of themselves or others if it all came down to it. We need people like you to help teach these others the _right_ way to survive."  
  
Clementine didn't really know... On the one hand, she was tired of trying to make it out there past the gates. Living each day with hoping she wouldn't die from lack of food or dehydration or _worse_.

And on the other hand, she knew that when something sounded too good to be true, it's because it probably is.  
  
"How do you all stay safe?" She asked after a few moments of absorbing the information, "Say a herd pushes through the gates, or one walker slips by unnoticed inside? Without any weapons on hand, how do you expect people to protect themselves?"  
  
Rick smiles at that and puts a hand to his belt. "You’ve got a good way of thinkin’. We all felt the same when we first got here, but it _is_ safe. We have people patrolling the gates 24/7. Same with the clock tower – there's always someone up there. We do regulatory perimeter checks on the outside as well."  
  
"Your weapons will still be your weapons." Deanna told her as she witnessed Rick's words getting through to her. "We have an armory; you can check them out whenever you need them. _But_ , there is someone there who keeps a log of everything. Keeps tabs on who has what and when."  
  
Clementine bites her lip thoughtfully and looks down to her gun. "Well... Maybe I'll stay a few days and see..."  
  
Deanna smiles brightly at that and claps her hands together. "Of course. Whenever you're comfortable, feel free to explore the town. I've already advised our people of your arrival and they won't give you grief for carrying your weapon with you."  
  
"Thanks." Clem repeats, a bit dumbfounded at the kindness she was being shown.

Just a couple days, she nodded to herself. _Just a couple days_. 


	3. .3.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unbeta'd
> 
> thank you for reading xoxo

It happens that night.

The nightmares that plague the only time of day that she should be getting her rest. She sees everyone, _feels_ everything—replaying themselves in her dreams like a broken film. They call out her name like a mantra, but she can’t reach them in time. She never does.

When she wakes up with a start, her cheeks are wet with tears and her shirt is clinging to her body with sweat. Her panic is short-lived when she remembers where she’s at. The couch she’s laying on is too plush and cushioned so she moves to lay on the floor.

She’s in Rick’s house, still and there’s a clock over on the wall that’s making a rhythmic ticking sound that unnerves her.

Soon, she’s on her feet and out the front door. The cold hair feels great as it breezes over her dampened skin and she leans onto the railing of the porch. “Lee?” She hiccups, looking up to the darkened sky. “Can you hear me?”

The wind carries her whispered words away, and she pushes the palms of her hands into her eyes to wipe away the moisture there. “I don’t know what to do, Lee…” She begins again, reveling in this quiet moment to herself. “I-I don’t know if I want to keep trying. You told me I was strong, but… I feel so weak…”

Her palms are still pressed to her clenched eyes and she can feel the tears slipping through. Her sobs are quiet, she’s mastered that from years of practice, but her chest is aching and her throat is knotted with emotion.

She falls to the floor and curls into a ball until the tears run dry and her eyes droop from fatigue.

That’s how they find her the next morning; on the porch, curled into herself. Rick debates on whether or not to wake her, but he’s saved a decision as Beth, Daryl and Aaron walk over from next door.

Beth frowns immediately and shares a word with the bowman next to her before moving toward Clementine.

“Clem?” She calls out gently, not wanting to frighten the girl. Her hand pushes against her shoulder and suddenly Clementine’s eyes snap open and before any of them can blink, the tip of her gun is pressed against Beth’s forehead.

There are shouts of surprise and worry from each person watching, but Beth doesn’t cry out. Instead, she holds the younger girl’s gaze and smiles sadly at her. “It’s okay, Clementine. It’s just me. Beth, remember?”

Clementine drops the gun and backs away until her back is pressed against the railing and she feels her hands shake. She almost shot an innocent person, she scolds herself. She’d almost lost sight of her reality in those few moments between sleep and awake. “I-I’m sorry.” She swallows thickly, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Beth’s eyes are bright and understanding. “I’m fine, see? Nothin’ happened.”

“It could’ve, though.” Clementine retorts weakly with a frown. What would her old friends think of her now? What would Lee or Luke or Kenny think of her going around almost killing people that had done their part to help her? “I could’ve shot you.”

“But you _didn’t_.” Beth says in a firmer tone. Clementine looks back up and sees a fire behind ice blue eyes and wonders why on earth these people are so emphatic about helping a complete stranger. It’s almost as if Beth senses her thoughts are turning self-deprecating, because the next thing she knows she’s being offered a hand to stand up. “Come on, let’s take a walk.”

They walk around the town and Beth explains how most things operate there. Clementine admits that things seem well structured. “But what if it’s not enough?”

“What do you mean?” Beth asks her as they approach one of the walls, walking languidly beside it as the groans and snarls of the lurkers just outside of it carry through the crevices.

Clementine wraps her arms around herself as she looks away from Beth’s imploring look. “I mean, what happens when this is gone? What will you all do?”

“You don’t think these walls will last?” Beth gestures to the tall metal pieces.

“Everything has an end.” Clementine replies with a grimace. “Places like this, it won’t last.”

Beth is silent for a minute, and they walk in step along the perimeter of the fence together. In the distance, she can hear children laughing and people talking—it’s strange. Then Beth speaks up again, but her voice has changed somewhat. “You’re right.” The blonde agrees, starling the younger girl before she chuckles. “What? Not expectin’ me to agree with you?”

Clementine shrugs. “Not really.”

Beth grins wryly and brings a hand up to pat the hair near her bullet scar. “I shouldn’t even be here,” Her voice is quiet, “Woke up in the trunk of a car, if you can believe it. Rick and the others, they were ambushed by walkers after I was shot. Sealed me in there thinkin’ I was dead.”

“Oh.” Clementine blinks, wanting to know more. “How did you survive?”

“Grace of God?” Beth chuckles before shrugging. “There were some people still in Atlanta—they had a doctor there. He helped heal me before I left to find everyone. It wasn’t easy, but I wasn’t expectin’ it to be. I met others on the road, had my share of run-ins with some nasty people—but I made it. Even when I got low and felt like givin’ up, I pushed through.”

Their steps slow down some, and Clementine stares down at her blood stained boots. “How, though?” She asks quietly, “How do you push through?”

She can feel Beth’s stare on her, but keeps her gaze low. “You just gotta have faith that things will get better. People these days might think that’s a naïve way of thinkin’, but it ain’t. I’m always bein’ underestimated, but they don’t know my story, they don’t need to. I’m strong, and so are you. These walls won’t stay up forever, you’re right. But as long as we stay prepared, as long as we stay strong, it won’t matter where we end up—as long as we’re all together, that’s what counts.”

“And if you’re separated?” Clementine asks with a raised brow. She wants to have Beth’s faith, but it seems so farfetched.

“Then we find each other.” Beth tells her, as if it’s just that simple.

“And if any of you are killed?” She continues.

“Then we find each other in a different place.” Beth smiles at Clementine’s doubtful look. “Loved ones always find their way back to each other. That’s what I believe. It’s what I _have_ to believe.”

And suddenly Luke’s voice is in her head.

_“What’s the most important thing in this world? What does everyone want? What’s the one thing a guy would walk hundreds of miles to get back to?”_

_“I’m not sure.”_

_“Come on, Clem, it’s family. It’s a tough world out there without people you can trust.”_

Clementine suddenly understands what Beth means. Or at least, she sort of does.

They continue to walk around the town until the sun is high up in the sky and beating down on them. When they get back to Beth’s shared home, Clementine is happy to see that one of the men living there, Eric, has prepared them food.

“I don’t even remember the last time I’ve seen spaghetti.” Clementine smiles widely as her eyes zero in on the large dish full of pasta.

Eric grins at her and motions her to have a seat before he places his hands on his hips. “Good news for me, then. Now I don’t have to worry about you being critical on how it tastes.”

She tunes out the rest of the words at her first mouthful. It’s cheesy, and saucy, and more delicious than anything she’s ever had. She can feel sauce on her chin, but she doesn’t care. When she looks up, Eric and Beth are staring at her in amusement and she tries to chew the mouthful of noodles she has.

“You remind me of Daryl the first night Aaron and I invited him to dinner.” He raises a hand to his cheek and laughs. “You pull off tomato sauce much better than he does, though.”

For the first time in what feels like forever, Clementine feels… _okay_. Happy is too strong a word, but okay is nice. Okay is good.

Later on, when the rest of Beth’s group shows up that night for a ‘family dinner’, the feeling only intensifies. Beth sings something slow and sweet, and Clementine watches as the group stops their conversations to listen. She watches everyone—tries to familiarize herself with them. A man named Eugene tries to talk to her about some type of game he used to play before dead started walking, but she brushes him off with a concise, ‘ _leave me alone’_.

Rick comes by and asks how she’s feeling, and when he leaves when he’s satisfied with her answer, his son comes and plops himself next to her with his sister, Judith in his arms.

She doesn’t turn to look at him, but this doesn’t stop him from smiling at her.

“How was your first day here?” Carl asks her quietly as to not grab anyone else’s attention.

Her brow furrows at his persistent stare when she doesn’t respond right away until finally, she sighs and answers, “It’s okay. I mean, have a full stomach and I’m clean, so I’m grateful for that.”

“You think you’re going to stay?” He continues, shifting the toddler in his arms. The baby reaches out for Clementine and her stubby fingers brush the tips of her hair, causing her to back away and pull her knees to her chest.

At her silence, Carl sighs before scooting closer. “You wanna hold her?”

“No.” Clementine responds instantly with a little too much emotion in her voice. Judith grabs for her again and Clementine can’t help but feel her heartstrings pull at the baby’s innocent face. She turns her head away and stares at the fire before she hears Carl sigh again.

“You don’t have to be alone.” He tells her, and she can hear the promise in his words. “You don’t _have_ to be alone.”

He leaves then, and she is alone once more.


	4. .4.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unbeta'd

  
  
She hadn’t planned on staying for more than a few days. Really, she hadn’t...

But then days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, and before she knew it, Clementine found herself still in Alexandria a year later.

For a while, she tries to find out what their angle is—why they welcomed her into their close knit family with open arms—she assumes it’s because she knew Glenn from before, and how he's taken it upon himself to make her feel a part of the group.

Most days it feels like she’s  _waiting_  for things to go horribly, horribly wrong. But nothing ever does. The worst things they've faced are bandit raids and small herds passing through, but those are simple to take care of.

Sure, there have been incidents while out on runs of people getting killed, but that was life now. And it was the risk those up to the job were willing to take.

Clementine has made a home in the house that Aaron, his partner Eric, Daryl, Beth and Tara lived in. The bedrooms were taken, but the cupboard under the stairs was spacious enough to squeeze a twin mattress in, along with a small shelf Daryl had built for her.   
  
She actually has a  _place_  to put her things, like a real home. Her shelves are lined with a few books and some crafts she'd made, along with a row of clothing. Above her bed are drawings Hershel and Judith have made for her, with Duck's drawing of his family alongside them. And then, the final piece to her small alcove was the picture of Lee. She doesn’t hang his picture up, though.

No, it stays tucked safely in her pocket. If anything were to happen, she doesn’t want to lose it if she has to leave her things behind. She doesn’t want to lose that piece of him with her… She doesn't want to forget how he looked like, not like she'd forgotten with her parents.

She can’t remember their voices, or their features, but she fills in the blank spaces with what she believes she remembers. Absorbed in her thoughts, she doesn’t hear the footsteps of someone walking toward her.

  
"Missed dinner." A gruff voice startles her from her thoughts, and she whips her head to see Daryl half leaning into her room.   
  
Clementine shrugs lightly from her spot on the bed and wiggles her fingers in the space above her, staring at the nubs. "Wasn't hungry."   
  
He makes a noncommittal noise and nods. "Scoot."   
  
Clementine scoots closer to the wall and scrunches her nose up when he plops down unceremoniously on the mattress next to her.

"You smell." She deadpans, eyeing the grease marks on his arms.   
  
"You ain't no rose yerself, girl." He quips back gruffly.  
  
"Did Beth send you down here?" She asks finally, looking up at him with a raised brow.   
  
Over the course of the past year, Clementine had become close with many members of the community, but Rick’s family was different. They’d taken her under their wing and treated her as their own—especially Beth and Daryl. She doesn’t exactly know why, but she’s grateful and doesn’t question it.

And then there was Carl.

He eventually opens up to her about his mom. What he had to do to make sure she didn’t turn after having Judith ripped out of her. Clementine relates on some level. Different circumstances, same shitty feeling.

She in turn tells him about Lee. How scared she'd been during, how alone she had felt after... That was the only time they'd shared those parts of themselves with each other, but it was enough to birth a bond between them. A mutual respect or understanding.  

And then Beth had taken her under her wing without either of them realizing. It was just that natural. Just as Beth had done for Daryl when all hope seemed lost, she'd done the same for Clementine. She taught her about plants, and the different types to look out for medicine or other. Taught her about bones and burns and things she'd learned while she was on her own.   
  
With Daryl, however, well—their relationship had developed over the course of a few months. She’d been given the job to help on runs, and when she’d come back one day alone and covered in walker guts with a giant gash in her head, he hadn’t hesitated to help her.

She looks over and see him quirk an eyebrow at her calculative stare – she doesn’t know why, maybe he felt sorry for her – maybe he somehow saw parts of himself in her. The closed-off, guilt-ridden ones. The parts where the emotions being felt were bubbling over the surface but kept being pushed further and further down.

"Somethin's upsettin' you." He tries again before gesturing the black eye she’s sporting. "Wanna explain this?"  
  
"It's nothing." She turns away from his knowing gaze and frowns.  
  
"Ain't nothin' if it makes you mope around all day."   
  
Clementine gives him a dry look and rolls her eyes. "Now I  _know_  Beth sent you here."  
  
"Heard you got a talkin' to." He scoffs, ignoring her sass before shaking his head. "'Bout gettin' in that fight."   
  
"It wasn't my fault." Clementine frowns with a huff, pulling her knees up to rest under her chin. "Anissa almost got us killed on that run because she wouldn't shut her mouth! Sam got pissed that I  _'disrespected'_  her, and came at me."   
  
Daryl frowns at that despite having already heard about the conflict from Deanna. "You make him pay?"  
  
Clementine smirks lightly, relieved she isn’t getting a lecture and responds, "He won't be able to eat with those flaps he calls lips for a few days."   
  
Daryl chuckles lowly in amusement. "Best stay outta trouble, girl. Might end up really hurtin' someone with those tiny fists of yours."  
  
"They deserved it." She huffs again, fiddling with a tear in her jeans. "I don't know why Rick won't just let Carl join me on runs. I'd rather have him covering me than those idiots."   
  
Daryl makes a short grunting sound, and she takes that as a reply of understanding. "You'd want Carl covering you, then?"   
  
He says it with such a straight face but doesn’t know whether or not he’s teasing her. Her face heats up just the same and she scoffs with a curled lip. "You know what I mean."   
  
"Mhm."   
  
"Stop it, Daryl."   
  
"Didn't say nothin'." He shrugs.  
  
"You're annoying." Clem purses her lips as she pulls her hat lower to conceal her face from him. "Thought you're supposed to help me feel better."   
  
"I look like a damn doctor to you?" He snorts, pulling his knee up to rest his arm on.   
  
Clementine rolls her eyes but can’t quite fight off that smile itching to bloom over her face.   
  
"Now, c'mon." Daryl nudges her arm before moving off the mattress and out into the hallway. "Better put some frozen peas on that 'fore it gets worse."  
  
"Is it that bad?" She bites her lip worriedly, reaching up to touch the tender skin around her eye before a sharp pain shoots up toward her temple.   
  
"Yeah," he nodded. "Ya look like shit."   
  
"Thanks.” She responds dryly.

“C’mon.”

The frozen peas he places over her eye thaw quickly, and when she’s done using them, he takes the bag and cooks them up for her to eat. When Tara, Beth and Eric join them later in the living room to chat quietly, Clementine hopes it doesn’t change. She doesn’t want there to be an angle. She wants it to be safe, like Carl promised all those months ago.

Safe.

_Please let it stay safe._

 


	5. .5.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unbeta'd
> 
> How are you all enjoying this? I hope I'm keeping everyone in character. Thanks so much for the kudos xoxo

The walls eventually fall down.

A herd, bigger than she’s ever seen before, they push through the walls, and down they go. It’s night time, and she’s still healing from a sprained ankle she’d injured over her last run.

Daryl ushers her out of their home, with Aaron hot on their heels and they catch up with Tara and Eugene. “Beth!?” He cries out into the street. It’s lost amongst the booming sounds of the dead snarling and growling, but he doesn’t give up. “BETH!?”

“There!” Clementine calls out, pointing to the blonde woman a few yards away shooting at the walkers coming in toward them. Judith is in her arms, wailing in fright. She’s with Glenn, Hershel, Maggie and Abraham, and they're all trying to shoot the walkers. And suddenly, Michonne, Rick, Carl, Carol and Sasha are running toward them, shouting for them to get back.

“Where’s Eric!?” Aaron panics, searching over the walkers he’s shooting at to try and find his partner. “Eric!”

“We can’t stay here!” Daryl tells him regretfully, keeping his crossbow up to fire at the walkers.

Aaron shakes his head, “I have to go back—I have to find him!”

“You’ll die!” Clementine shakes her head, feeling her throat close.

“I have to!” Aaron runs back, “Eric!”

Clementine’s heart is beating furiously and she looks around to find a solution. Some of the town’s residents have shut off their porch lights and barricaded themselves inside—the walkers push through, though. She can hear the sounds of glass breaking and the screams of their victims.

“Hurry up, we gotta move!” Daryl shouts to her, and she tries her best to do just that.

“But Aaron—,”

“We ain’t got a choice, Clem!” He snaps back, and she can see the anguish in his eyes so she just nods and does her best to keep up with him. Her ankle cries out in protest, but she just prays it won’t give out on her and pushes forward.

“There’s too many of them to try and fight!” She pants when they reach the rest of their group. “We’ll never make it.”

Deanna is further down the street trying to get to them, and they all turn to her when she cries out in agony. A walker has taken her from behind, and down she goes— the only thing visible is the spray of blood that shoots out over the huddle of walkers now feasting on her.

“We need to leave this place!” Clementine tells the group frantically, lifting her gun to take out what she can. She looks over at Rick and sees him struggling to make a decision and her lips curl in anger. “ _Rick_! We can’t stay here! There’s too many of them! We’ll _die_!”

“She’s right.” Michonne adds, gaining a muttering of agreeance with the others.

“We gotta go!” Maggie cries out, holding Hershel tight to her. “We gotta go! The back gate—I have the key, we need to haul ass _now_!”

They all run like hell.

Suddenly, something catches her hair and she jerks back with a cry. She doesn’t need to see it to know it’s a walker—the smell is the best indicator and she’s struggling to keep its mouth off her before its grip slackens and it falls to the floor with a dull thud.

Clementine’s chest is heaving for breath and she looks up to see Carl running toward her with his gun drawn. “Let’s go!” He takes her hand, and they're off again, trailing the group as Rick shouts for them to hurry.

That’s when Tara goes down and she cries out her name before Eugene is moving in to help her. They both are gone in a second—their cries turning into gurgles as the walkers bite through their throats and stomach. Clementine pushes back the grief and stores it to feel in a later time.

She almost falls as a walker grabs at her again, but Carl’s still got his hold on her and she mutters a thanks as he pulls her to move quicker.

“Clem!” She hears Daryl call out for her. “Come on, girl, move it!”

“I’m trying!” She tells him, shooting at the walkers catching up to them. “My ankle—,”

“NO!” Michonne howls then, causing everyone to look toward her. The scene she sees shocks her, and she feels Carl’s hand fall from her own.

“ _Dad_!”

Rick’s left hand is in the mouth of a walker, and he sends a bullet through its skull, but before any of them can react, Michonne brings her katana down and slices through his wrist in one swipe.

Rick looks as if he’s about to faint, but Michonne keeps him steady and throws her coat over the gaping limb and orders him to stay with them. “ _Put pressure_!” She yells as Daryl moves over to help carry him. “Dammit Rick, stay alive! Carl stay back! Cover us!”

They’re almost to the gate, and Clementine feels somewhat bad for leaving the many residents to fend for themselves but it’s quickly overpowered by the need to stay alive.

Maggie’s hand is shaking as she fiddles with the keys but she finally unlocks the back gate and they all rush out until the gate’s slammed back shut. It wobbles at the weight of the walkers pushing against it, but Maggie assures them they have a bit of time to get away before it comes down.

Carl is panicking now, staring at Rick’s ashen face, while the rest of them are catching their breaths.

They are working on keeping Rick awake, but Clementine fears the walkers will break through. “Guys, we’ve gotta keep moving.” She says finally with a hitch in her breath. “If we want Rick to have any chance of survival, if we want _us_ to have any chance at survival, we need to get far away from this place!”

“She’s right.” Abraham agrees, standing up from his hunched position.

“And just where are we supposed to go?” Sasha quips back with an incredulous laugh. Her hand gestures to the town behind them and she shakes her head. “This place was all we had!”

“There are other places.” Clementine tells her, “There _has_ to be.”

“He can’t move right now!” Carl snaps back at her with an angry glare.

“He’s going to have to if we want a chance to live through this!” She retorts back, “Michonne, we need to keep moving.”

“She’s right.” Ricks rasps out, clutching onto the soaked fabric around his stump. With Daryl’s help, he keeps his arm raised, and they agree to move on.

There’s a feeling of dread that doesn’t leave Clementine’s stomach for the rest of the night. Her ankle is screaming out in pain, and she hopes all this movement doesn’t permanently damage it. Daryl’s suddenly by her side, with Abraham and Carl now helping Rick, and he looks down at her. “You okay?”

“No.” She responds honestly, wrapping her arms around herself.

“Yeah…” He agrees lowly, looking down at her through his bangs. “Me neither… How’s yer ankle?”

“It hurts.” She grimaces, knowing there’s a limp in her step. “But I’ll be okay.”

“’Course you’ll be.” He tells her, before he stretches out his hand to stop her. “Here,”

Clementine blinks as he crouches down in front of her. “What are you doing?”

“You ain’t ever had a piggyback before?” He asks, looking at her over his shoulder.

“No, I have.”

He gives her an impatient look. “Well, don’t just stand there, girl. Hop on.”

The relief of getting the pressure off her ankle is instantaneous. She’s grateful for Daryl’s help as they catch up with the group.

“Thank you.”

“Mhm.”

III

They end up walking for about a day, but stop when they reach a fairly intact gas station. It’s pretty isolated in regards to location, and they easily take out the four walkers inside.

“Look at this!” Clementine’s eyes widen as she sees a strewn duffel bag full of medical supplies with a pouch full of strange crystal looking pieces inside it. “Whoa, what’s this?”

“Shit, don’t touch that.” Daryl takes the pouch from her and tosses it out the broken window.

“What was it?” She asks curiously, thrown off by his reaction. “Could it have helped Rick?”

“Nah,” He shakes his head and crouches down to pick up the bag to inspect the rest of the items. “Good find though, girl.”

Carol finds some canned pineapple and beans, and the group divides it as Beth and Michonne tend to Rick’s hand—or lack thereof.

Nightfall comes quickly and the group agrees to stay there until Rick is ready to move again. Nobody talks that night. There’s too much that’s been lost, too much that’s happened.

III

Ten months later, they find themselves crossing the state line into Pennsylvania.

When they make camp in a boarded up house, Clementine is awoken to quiet arguing. She doesn’t move a muscle as she recognizes the voices as Glenn’s and Abraham’s.

Their voices are low enough that she can’t quite catch the words, but she can hear the tone, and she knows it’s not good.

Everything changes when a window from upstairs crashes open, and the group jump to their feet. “Who’s on watch?” Sasha asks, looking around at who’s missing.

“We’ve got company!” Rick runs down the stairs with his pistol drawn, “Move out!”

There are screams from upstairs and outside, and before she can stick around to find the source of the noise, Sasha is pulling her up by her arm and they’re out the door.

“Get them!” A voice from her left cries out, but Clementine runs into the thicket of the woods just a short distance away with Carol and Abraham beside her.

She can hear the gunshots going off, and suddenly a shot rings out closer to her and she tumbles to the ground. “Ah!” Her hands grip her thigh and she can hardly see in the dark, but she feels her jeans become wet and the strong smell of blood fills her nostrils. “Oh shit, oh shit—,”

“Clem!”

Next thing she knows, she’s being yanked up by her arm and a low voice is speaking far too close for comfort. “ _Claimed_! Claimed!”

“Get the fuck off me!” She wriggles in his grip before she can hear Sasha’s voice yelling for her from behind.

Her elbow strikes the man in the throat and he loosens his grip on her, giving her the chance to pull away. “You little bitch!”

She panting heavily now, crawling away from him, but he grabs her injured leg and pulls her back to him before he straddles her. “Fucking piece of--!”

“Fuck you!” She growls out, pushing back her panic as she tries to think of a way to escape.

“That’s the idea, sugar-tits.” He leers at her, and she can smell the stench of his breath and feel the callouses on his fingers as he pushes her shirt up. “A squirmer, huh? This’ll be fun.”

Her hands push against his throat but he only laughs, and it's then that she begins to panic. Her fingers leave his throat and move across the ground around her, praying to contact something useful. Suddenly, her heart leaps to her throat when her fingers grip onto a rock and she uses every ounce of strength she has to knock him over the head with it.

To her relief, she makes her mark and he falls to his side with a startled cry. Her fingers don’t lose their grip on the rock and she brings it down on his head again without hesitation, unfazed by the squelching sound it makes with each strike.

Someone grabs her from behind and she’s quick to fight off another attacker, thrashing to hit them across the face.

“FUCK!”

Clementine halts her movements and pants, “Glenn?”

“Jesus, Clem!” He holds his nose as it spurts blood, and she releases a shaky breath.

“I-I’m sorry.” She grabs the hand he extends to help her up. “I thought you were—,”

“I know, but we’ve gotta go.” He interrupts, giving her a quick onceover. “You okay?”

“My leg,” She glances down to the tear in her jeans. He curses under his breath and kneels down to inspect it quickly. “Ow!”

“It looks like a bullet got you.” He breathes out before standing back up again. “It’s just a graze. You’ll be okay. But we’ve gotta move.”

“But, those men?”

“They’re taken care of.” He explains before pulling her close to help her move quickly. “Well, most of them, anyway. We don’t want to be here when the rest wake up. Everyone’s waiting at the street.”

When they reach the group, Clementine is unsurprised to find Rick interrogating one of the men. This is something she’s learned to deal with—his intensity. But she knows he does what he does for the sake of the group. And by this point, there’s already so much she’s seen, it doesn’t bother her much anymore. Sympathy is not something she can afford to feel for people like these.

“Where’s the rest of your camp!?” He grits out, pressing his knee into the man’s back while holding his arm at an odd angle. “You’d better speak up or I’ll pop your goddamn elbow off.”

“Fuck yo—AH, _AH_!” The man’s face twists in agony as Rick does as he promises, “S-stop!”

“Then talk! WHERE IS IT!?”

“U-upstream,” The man pants, “T-there’s an RV near the river…”

“How many men you got waitin’ over there?” Rick presses on.

The man’s breathing is ragged and there’s a hesitation that prompts Rick to pull at his wounded appendage, causing him to scream out again before Rick leans closer. “ _How. Many. Men_?”

“O-only two—“ he whines pathetically as Michonne walks over and points to tip of her katana at the man’s face.

“Are you lying to us?”

“No- _no_! I s-swear! There’s only two men there! P-please, let me go!”

Rick and Michonne share a glance and Clementine knows what’s about to take place.

“Upstream you said?”

“Yes, I-I can show you!”

Rick nods thoughtfully before standing up and aiming his gun at the man’s face. “We’ll find it ourselves.” And then he shoots.

Daryl moves over to her as they begin their trek toward the river and he motions her to stand still before pulling a dirty handkerchief from his back pocket. “Hold still.”

“Daryl, I’m fine.” Clementine insists, not wanting to be a hindrance. He ignores her as she expects and pulls her leg close to wrap the cloth around her thigh. “ _Ouch_ ,”

“Everyone alright?” Rick calls out, looking over his shoulder as everyone affirms their status.

“Rick, do you really think we can trust that guy?” Maggie speaks up, holding Hershel close to her. “What if there’s more men?”

Rick mulls this over before he speaks, “Alrigh’, here’s what’s gonna happen—Maggie, you and Carl will stay back. Make sure Hershel and Judith stay safe until we give the all clear. The rest of us will go forward.”

“Okay.” She nods.

“The man said they had an RV.” Clementine speaks up, “Maybe there’s still gas in it.”

“That’s what I’m countin’ on.” Rick tells her.

It doesn’t take long for them to find the camp, and they’re relieved to find out the man had been telling the truth. The two men on watch are taken out swiftly and Glenn quickly inspects the RV before they all climb inside.

They barely make it to the road before Abraham’s voice startles them all. “Oh, shit!”

Clementine pushes through the group as they crowd the back room and gasps at the sight of Abraham pulling two young girls out from the small closet. “Oh, my god!”

The girls are bound and bloodied, but they’re still alive.

“Fucking hell!”

“Search them.” Rick speaks up before Clementine glares at him at moves to stand in front of them.

“No.” She shakes her head, gaining everyone’s attention. She gestures to the frightened girls and scoffs, “They’re obviously unarmed and injured.”

“We don’t know if they’re—“

“Oh, bullshit, Rick!” She snaps, feeling defensive over the young girls. It’s obvious she’s not alone at arguing against Rick’s demands as the group’s eyes all shift uneasily between the two. “No one is touching them.”

“Clem’s right.” Beth agrees, “There's no way they're a threat.”

“Those sick fucks.” Abraham breathes out, shaking his head.

“Should we wake them?” Carol asks with a grimace.

Clementine moves over to one of the girls and hovers her hand over her, debating to shake her into consciousness. She’s saved the decision, however, when the girl’s eyes open slowly before widening in fear.

She scoots back against the bed and moves to shield the younger girl beside her.

“Hey! Hey, it’s okay.” Clementine raises her arms up in a surrendering gesture. “I-I’m not going to hurt you.”

The two girls are small and malnourished. Their torn clothing do little to hide their protruding ribcages and their hair that she assumes is blonde is matted with dirt and blood. Clementine inches closer, “I’m going to remove your restraints, okay? Just don’t scream or we’ll attract walkers nearby.”

Hesitantly, the girl gives a nod, and everyone has their weapons prepared as Clementine moves forward to pull the rag from the girl’s mouth and then the rope around her wrists.

When she looks up, Clementine feels her heart clench at the tears in the small girl’s green eyes and frowns deeply. “You’re safe now.”

“…t-those men…”

“They’re dead.” Beth answers, standing near Clementine. “What’s your name?”

There’s a look of uncertainty that crosses the girl’s face before she bites her lip and speaks lowly. “I’m Anna…”

“Hi, Anna.” Clementine smiles in what she hopes is a comforting manner. “I’m Clementine… These are my friends.”

Anna looks over her shoulder and stares at the group before huddling closer to the younger girl on the bed. “Y-You’re not bad people, right?”

“No.” Clementine responds with a shake of her head. “No, we’re not.”

Anna nods and looks down at her feet.

“Can you tell us how you got here, Anna?” Beth asks gently, staring at her with a look of sympathy.

Anna’s lip wobbles and Clementine is suddenly worried she’ll start sobbing, but the girl merely shakes her head. “We… we were just making food. Out in the woods. Me and my sister,” She looks toward the other girl, still unconscious, “We were helping Daddy with the fish… when we were attacked then. These men, they came outta nowhere...”

“Were you with a group?” Michonne asks from her spot near the door.

“Mhm.” Anna nods, pulling at her hair. “Daddy and us were traveling with our friends. Going someplace safe, they said.”

 _Safe_ , Clementine snorts internally.

“Did they mention where?” Beth asks, gaining a suspicious frown from the girl.

“How do I know I can trust you?”

“Like I said,” Clementine continues, “We don’t want to hurt you. We’re not the bad guys. But if you want us to help, we’ll need to know where your group was going.”

Anna nods hesitantly, “O-okay. Um, Daddy and Oscar were talking about some a dam in York Haven… Oscar’s family went there. It’s… it’s where we were all headed.”

“Clementine,” Rick motions for her. “A word.”

“I’ll stay.” Beth smiles thinly, “Check their injuries.”

The group walk away from the small bedroom, and Maggie is already at the front of the vehicle explaining the situation to Glenn. Abraham shuts the thin door from the bedroom and sits at the table with Carl, Judith and Sasha. Carol moves to sit on the sofa, and Daryl doesn’t move from his leaned position near the door, no doubt keeping an ear out for anything going on inside. Rick steps to the middle of the RV and rubs his hand over his chin before turning to Clementine with a grimace. “What the hell do you think you’re doin’?”

Clementine holds his gaze and narrows her eyes. “She’s not lying, Rick.”

“You don’t know that.”

“She’s no older than thirteen!” She hisses angrily, “And by the state she’s in, there’s no way she’s a threat against all of us.”

“So, what’s your plan?" He scoffs with an unsure expression. "Deliver them back to their group?” 

“Do you have a better one?” She retorts, earning a glare before she sighs heavily. “Sorry, I just… if there’s any indication she’s lying, then we’ll take care of it. But think about it... If she’s telling the truth, there’s a _chance_ we can make it there, too.”

“I vote we find this dam.” Carl speaks up from his spot. Rick looks over at him before glancing at everyone else’s reactions.

He sighs roughly and shakes his head. “And you’re all okay with this plan?”

It’s quiet for a few moments before Maggie speaks up from the passenger’s seat. “I’m in favor for it. If there’s a chance we can find someplace safe for the kids, at least for a little while, then I’m in.”

Glenn obviously seconds his wife’s decision, and shortly, the whole group is in agreement.

“Guess we’re headed to York Haven.” Rick finally says.

Clementine doesn’t wait for him to say anything else before she brushes past Daryl and enters the room again.


	6. .6.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for the kudos! 
> 
> unbeta'd

Clementine finds out the young girl’s names are Anna and Mary Weldon. Just fourteen and eleven years old, she’s reminded of how fucked up the world is to the children still inhabiting it.

The drive to York Haven is longer than expected, given the fact they have to stop to siphon gas every now and then, but they make it.

“It’s like a ghost town.” Glenn remarks when they reach the town line. “Maybe we should search for supplies before we head over to the dam?”

“Yeah,” Rick nods. “Best try in case there’s nothing there.”

The group splits up as they walk the town and search the rundown shops. Luck seems to be on their side as they manage to find some canned peaches and two jugs of water.

“You holdin’ up alrigh’, girl?” Daryl asks her as they walk back to the RV, lugging one of the jugs over his shoulder as Carl insists on carrying the other one.

“Fine.” Clementine responds with a small curve of her lip. “My leg hurts like hell, but nothing I can’t jump back from. Not literally, but you know what I mean.”

He chuckles then and looks over his shoulder as Beth comes jogging over toward them. The blonde smiles widely and hands a couple of bolts to Daryl. “Here, found these. Not sure if they’re the right size, but I figured you’d want them just as well.”

He grabs them and gives her a smile that Clementine is sure meant for Beth’s eyes only. She hides a smirk and picks up her pace to leave the two to their private conversation.  

Of course, when they all regroup at the RV, their luck runs out.

“Radiator’s busted.” Glenn sighs, crouching at the front of the vehicle. “Looks like we’re back to walking on foot.”

“At least we made it here.” Carol shrugs easily, adjusting her weapon over her shoulder. “The town looked like it had been cleared. Maybe the girls’ group did come through here.”

“Guess there’s only one way to find out.”

Clementine slows her steps to walk alongside Anna, and she frowns at the younger girl, Mary, in Abraham’s arms. “Still hasn’t woken up?”

Abraham sighs and shakes his head. “No, but her pulse is steady. They must’ve drugged her up pretty good.”

“She’ll be okay though, right?” Anna questions worriedly.

“We can only hope.” Clementine tells her honestly. “So, who else is in your group? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Well, aside from us, there’s Edgar, he used to be a veterinarian. And his son Pablo. And there’s Ruth, she used to be a piano player. And Lu—“

“Over there!” Sasha’s voice carries over. They look over to see the large plant just a short distance away.

“That’s like the picture Daddy had!” Anna states excitedly, jogging forward. “This is it!”

“Well, let’s keep moving.” Maggie says earnestly, trying to comfort a fussy Hershel. “I’d rather make it before nightfall.”

Luckily, they do reach the plant before nightfall. The sound of the water beneath them is soothing, but Clementine can’t help but wonder if the girls’ group even made it here. It looks so vacant and feels too quiet.

“This is a big place.” Carol observes aloud, holding her gun to her hip. “You think we’ll be able to actually find their group in a place like this? It could be packed with walkers.”

_“Drop your weapons!”_

“Guess that answers our question…” Clementine mutters to herself as a man orders from above the watch-tower, turning the focus upward.

“I said put your weapons! Do it _now_!”

“Daddy!?” Anna shouts excitedly from her spot next to Clementine.

The burly man lowers his rifle and leans over the railing of the tower, trying to see who’s called him by name before the gun slips from his grasp. “ _Anna_?”

He’s gone instantly, and for a few minutes, the group wait with baited breath on what will happen next. Suddenly, the doors to the entrance open and the man from before is rushing toward the young girl. “Anna! Mary!?”

Abraham steps forward with a grimace as the man drops to his knees to embrace the oldest girl, before looking toward his youngest in concern.

But Clementine doesn’t have time to witness the reunion between father and daughters. She doesn’t have time to hear what Rick is speaking to the other group of people who have walked out of the plant. Her eyes widen and she swears her heart has stopped beating because all she can see is a ghost.

The man standing at the threshold to the front doors gapes at her in disbelief, and she can only blink in surprise as he steps toward her. “C-Clementine?”

Hearing his voice, _seeing_ him walk toward her, her feet move of their own accord and she’s sprinting at him, not caring in the least if her exuberant embrace causes them both to topple over.

They don’t, though—instead he clings onto her as fiercely as she is, and her feet lift from the ground as he lifts her up.

“Oh, my god…” He exhales into her hair, sounding flabbergasted, “I-I can’t believe it…”

“I- I…” She knows the feeling. It’s as if her mouth had seized the ability to form words and a part of her feels numb.  

“You two know each other?” Rick walks up to them then, gaining the attention of both parties. When he moves closer, the two finally separate, causing Rick to reach his hand out. “Rick.”

Clementine feels his arm leave her side briefly as he introduces himself, and she’s not quite ready to let go of him yet.

“…Luke.” He introduces with an easy smile that takes her back years and years.

_He’s really here. She’s not just hallucinating._

“Luke… how—?” Clementine clenches her eyes shut and shakes her head. She feels his hand rest on her shoulder before she opens them again and he almost looks as stunned as she feels. “You… you were dead! I-I saw you die!”

“What gave you that idea? Me gettin’ pulled down by that lurker?” He tries to joke with a grin. It comes off more of a grimace and he knows he’s not fooling her with this false lightheartedness over the memory. “I don’t blame you for thinkin’ that.”

“Maybe we should take this inside.” A petite Asian woman suggests, gesturing them all inside the plant. “Sun’s about to set.”

“How ‘bout we talk more later? After we get y’all folks settled in?” He says quietly to her with a kind smile. “Figure we gotta lot to catch up on, huh?”

Clementine feels herself frown at being separated, and like no time has passed at all, Luke immediately understands her wariness and holds out his arm, silently asking for her to loop hers through. It’s probably childish, and out of character for her own group to witness her so… _affectionate_ , but she clings to his arm regardless, afraid he’ll disappear the moment she let’s go.

Sure, she’s nearly seventeen now, but her mind has reverted back to that moment when she was eleven—that moment where she sees Luke saving her life underwater by sacrificing his own in turn. The guilt coils in her stomach and her throat closes up as she listens to him give a tour to everyone on the place.

As Anna had mentioned on the RV, the plant does seem safe. They’re all stunned at the amount of supplies and food that are stocked inside. And when they’re taken to the sleeping area, they’re all given their own cots.

Everyone is expressing gratitude over the generosity of this seemingly friendly group of people, and Clementine can’t help but feel herself ease up a bit. She’d been so shocked by Luke being there— _alive_ —she hadn’t taken in a thought as to how everyone else in her group was holding up.

Carl holds Judith during the whole tour, with Michonne and Rick by their side, obviously. There’s a hopeful glint in his eye that Clementine hopes doesn’t fade away. He’s been through so much already, she knows he deserves a break—if only for a while.

Sasha, Abraham and Carol are a bit wearier, but Clementine figures they’re just on high alert like they usually get. They seem grateful for the shelter and food, but she knows they’re antsy.

And then there’s Glenn, Maggie, Beth, Daryl and Hershel. They subconsciously group tightly together. The Greene sisters are wide eyed and hopeful at this place, and little Hershel is reaching his hands out to grab anything he can try to put in his mouth.

When they’re walked back to the sleeping area, a small fire over a makeshift grill is burning in the center of the room. At one of the woman’s, Ruth’s, insistence, they all gather around the small fire and accept their food with thanks.

Introductions are being told in the order of seating arrangement, and Clementine is last to speak out. “Um… I’m Clementine.”

Eddie, the girls’ father, reaches over to give her hand a squeeze. “Anna told me what you did for her… I can’t thank you enough, miss Clementine.”

Clementine lowers her head and scoots closer to Luke, wishing the moment for them to talk – _for her to get answers_ – comes soon.

“How do you two know each other?” Carl asks from across the fire as he hands Judith to Rick, looking between both her and the man she hasn’t loosened her grip on.

“Who, Clem and I?” Luke asks, looking down at her as everyone else listens in with intrigue. “We were part of the same group a long while back. What was it—five, six years ago?”

“Yeah.” Clementine nods in agreement, feeling a bit emotional at thinking back to that time. “Six.”

“You guys were separated then?” Anna questions with wide eyes as she leans against her father and her still unconscious sister in his lap. “That must’ve been horrible!”

“It was worse than that…” Clementine responds lowly with a deep frown. “I… All this time, I thought I had killed you…”

“What?” Luke turns sharply toward her in confusion. “You didn’t—“

“If I hadn’t tried to walk across that ice… if I had _tried_ to pull that walker off of you—” Her words get caught in her throat as she feels the guilt she’s carried through the years amplify in the matter of seconds. “I _swear_ I didn’t know you were alive, Luke”

“Hey, now…” Luke frowns at her, pulling her close so her head is leaning on his shoulder. Everyone remains silent as they eat their food and soak in the information being spoken. Clementine had done a damned good job at keeping the details of her past to herself and her emotions in check. She can’t blame them for being caught a bit off guard at her newfound emotional transparency. Luke’s voice pulls her back to reality, though. “I don’t blame you, Clem. Not one bit, ya hear me? What happened then, that _wasn’t_ your fault.”

Clementine doesn’t care that they have an audience. She _needs_ to let out what she’s been feeling the past six years. “I shouldn’t have stolen from Arvo that day, Luke… None of that would’ve happened if I had just… I-I…”

“Stop it!” He tells her firmly, pushing her back slightly to try and make eye contact. “Clementine, look at me.”

She shakes her head and clenches her eyes shut. “No, you said it before—you feel it in your bones. I feel it in mine. Lee, Kenny, Sarah… AJ… _Everyone_. I’m so sorry. I-I’m sorry!” Her shoulders shake as she tries to restrain her sobs at the amount of guilt she’d tried to suppress for so long come bubbling to the surface.

He wraps his other arm around her and kisses the crown of her head, at a loss at how to comfort her. “There ain’t nothing to be sorry ‘bout, kid. Don’t know what else I can say to make you believe it’s true, but it is. None of their deaths are on you.”

“You don’t understand.” She exhales roughly. “If I had done something different—made the right choices—,”

“Clementine!” He shakes her once, finally snapping her gaze to his. “ _It. Ain’t. On. You._ ”

“I wish I could believe that…”

He sighs heavily at her response before he shrugs and forces out a chuckle. “Guess I’ll just have to do my best to convince you otherwise from here on in.”

Clementine stays silent, and the group begins to talk amongst themselves again. She listens idly as some of the new faces question Anna on what happened. Then she listens to Rick tell them a bit about themselves and their group.

She supposes the group isn’t _too_ strung up on caution given the fact that she knows one of these new people personally. Rick and the others have always considered her to be a good judge of character, and she’s relieved that this is a night everyone seems to be enjoying.

Later, when the fire dwindles away and the others have tucked in for the night to their new sleeping places, she remains in her spot.

“You tired?” Luke asks her quietly, breaking the peaceful quietness that had crept over them.

“I don’t…” She bites her lip, not knowing how to rephrase the words, _‘I don’t want to leave you’_ without sounding clingy. He understands though and rubs her arm.

“I see you still got your hat.” He chuckles a few minutes later, reaching up to flick the bill of it. She smiles then, and pushes his hand away playfully.

“Hey, watch it!” Clementine chuckles lightly, adjusting her hat back in place.

He grabs her hand suddenly and she looks over to see him frowning at her bandaged stubs. Her smile vanishes and she bites her lip. “I was bit.” She explains as his frown deepens. “It wasn’t a dog that time either.” She tries to lighten the mood.

He doesn’t crack a smile. Instead, he looks saddened. “How uh, how did it happen?”

Clementine wriggles her fingers lightly in his grip, recalling the memory. “I was looking for baby formula… AJ was crying but I couldn’t get us out in time. A walker… it came out from behind one of the shelves. I knew if I didn’t act fast, little Alvie would never make it.”

Luke’s brow furrows as he lowers her hand. “It was just you and AJ, then?”

“Yeah.” She nods feeling her heart clench painfully in her chest as she thinks of the little boy she failed. “It was just us for a long time.”

“What… what happened?”

“It was after…” She hesitates slightly. “Well, after we thought you died.”

Luke’s eyes widen, “Jesus, that long ago!?”

“Mhm.” She nods. “Kenny, he nearly killed Arvo after they pulled me out of that lake. The others… Bonnie and Mike, they were planning to leave that night. Steal our things and take off with him.”

“Jesus,” He breathes out again, looking troubled.

Clementine pushes down the left side of her sleeve to show the ugly scar on her shoulder. “I tried to stop them, but…”

“They _shot_ you?” He stares at the healed over wound in shock. “What the fuck-!?”

“Arvo did. I don’t know what happened afterward, I blacked out.” She shakes her head solemnly, “Woke up in the back of the truck with Kenny, Jane and AJ… and well, things got bad. _Real_ bad.”

“Bad how?” He’s almost hesitant to ask, thinking back to Kenny’s temper.

“Jane and Kenny… they got into it. Tried to kill each other... I-I…” Her breath hitches before she continues. “I had to shoot Kenny… I _had_ to, Luke! I didn’t want to... and then I found out Jane had manipulated the whole situation… I had killed Kenny… all for nothing. So, I took AJ and left.”

Luke stays silent as he absorbs her words. “I… god, I’m so sorry you had to go through that, Clem. I mean— _Jesus_!”

Clementine shakes her head with a small shrug. “What about you? How in the world did you survive?”

She feels him sigh and looks up to see him stare upward thoughtfully. “Boy, where do I start? Um, well bein’ dragged down in that water I knew that wasn’t the way I wanted to go. I fought like hell to get back up to the surface. Saw y’all runnin’ off but couldn’t call out to ya. Don’t know what happened after that. Mei…” He gestures over to the tiny Asian woman now asleep in her cot. “She found me, blue-faced and barely clingin’ to life. Brought me back to her group and nursed me back to health.”

Clementine’s heart is racing as she hears his explanation, “I would’ve come back for you.” She finally whispers quietly, “If I had known—,”

“I know, kid. I know.” He interrupts her with a small smile. “I’d do the same for you, remember?”

She wants to smile, but it’s a bit difficult. “What happened then?”

“Well, woke up a few days later.” He continues, scratching the stubble along his jawline. “Tried to find y’all, but couldn’t. Ended up stayin’ with Mei and her people. Lost some folks along the way, met new ones… and then… ended up here.”

Clementine can hear the hilt in his voice as his words trail off. She knows he’s seen just as much as she has—lost as much. It’s almost the norm nowadays and that upsets her.

“Luke?” She whispers after a few minutes of quiet.

“Hm?” He hums quietly and turns his head toward her as the sounds of soft snores echo around the room.

“I really hope this isn’t a dream.” She finally admits after a short pause.

His breath tickled her hair as he chuckled and shook his head. “Better not be. ‘Cause if it were, well then, I don’t wanna wake up from it.”

“Me neither.” She grins lightly at him before a yawn escapes her lips.

“Come on.” He stands up suddenly, helping her to her feet. “Y’all sound like you had a long day. You’d best get some rest, okay? I’ve gotta go keep watch.”

She wants to argue—wants to say she can stick with him, and she’s nearly about to before he smiles down at her and rubs her arm. “We’ll talk more in the mornin’. I promise.”

She reluctantly agrees and allows him to walk her over to her new sleeping space.

When she falls to her cot with a low moan at its softness, a low humming reaches her ears from her left and she turns to see Beth look over at her a few beds over with a soft smile. “I told you, Clementine” Beth whispers to her as her smile widens.

Clementine’s brows furrow at Beth’s random words. “Told me what?”

“Loved ones always find their way back to each other.” She says with a knowing smile, repeating one of the few things Clementine carried with her after meeting that first day in Alexandria. “I’m really happy you and your friend were reunited.”

Clementine smiles then, a real, toothy and joyful smile. “Yeah.” She nods, feeling happy for once in a long time. “Yeah, me too.”

And her eyes flutter shut, and she falls asleep surrounded by her loved ones. Not alone, but together.

 _Together_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I revived Luke. Clem/Luke are my BROtp, 'ight? They're up there with Elena/Sully and Scott/Stiles! Luke is one of my favorite characters and I would kick myself later for leaving him dead in a fictional world that I could prevent that from happening! xoxo


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